By Marc Willcox, composed while asleep
Henry's FIRST wife was Catherine of Aragon,
For a TIME thought that she was his paragon,
But to GET a divorce,
Broke with ROME, but of course,
And then FEASTed on quail's eggs and tarragon.
Young HENry the Eighth, known as Tudor,
His MANner it could not be ruder,
For his WIFE Anne Boleyn,
Lost her HEAD. What a sin!
I bet SHE wished that he'd never wooed her.
To Jane SEYmour was Henry next wed,
And at HAMPton Court took to her bed,
For a SON she produced,
But her HEALTH it reduced,
And she DIED, but she did keep her head.
From FAR travelled young Anne of Cleves,
But her FACE Henry badly receives,
Holbein MAKES her look fair,
Henry THINKS "Flanders Mare!"
I'm the LUCKiest Queen she perceives.
Kathryn HOWard was known to be flirty,
With LOVers, there must have been thirty.
CulPEPer and she,
Found IN flagranti.
Whilst HENry played his hurdy gurdy.
The LAST queen he wed, Catherine Parr,
Was the ONE who outlived him. Hoorah!
When HAL was quite dead,
Her WINGS she did spread,
And OPENed a posh singles bar!